You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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