Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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