I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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