margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
