This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thank you for not boning my boss.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
