I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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