I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
