Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She's the barista slut.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
