I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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