eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
