another moral hangover. fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
