half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
