If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
