i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
