Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
