At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Fuck appropriateness.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
