fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
