How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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