So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
