Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
