so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
