Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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