P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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