Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
