i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Randomize
