HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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