Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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