Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
