nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
