so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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