I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
