Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
