brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
