Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Actions speak louder than pants.
should my penis look like a turkey
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
