Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
