Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
