If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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