After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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