Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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