One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
