oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
