Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
