The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
