Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Still dying that you shit outside
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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