Porn is love you can see.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
