easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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