I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
