its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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