she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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