Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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